Last week Jason and I spent some time out of town for my job. The change in scenery for a couple of days was refreshing and I really like staying in hotels. I feel important and distinguished and like a world traveler even if we were only 60 miles from home. When we checked into our hotel I stood in the lobby while Jason retrieved our bags from the car (a true gentleman). The lady working the desk at the hotel boldly asked, “Honey, is it a boy or a girl?” I looked around the lobby suddenly realizing I was the only other person around. I looked down surprised, as if someone had just strapped this huge belly on my perfectly sculpted 6 pack abs. I looked back at her, managed a smile and answered with confidence, “It’s a girl.” In hind sight I’m pretty sure I wasn’t looking around and confused by the fact that I’m growing a human. I have become pretty aware of it over the last few months. I think I was confused because this was the first time a stranger has really said anything about my pregnancy. I’ve seen people stare and maybe wonder. People I know have reluctantly said things like “well I thought maybe you were but didn’t want to say…” But, never a stranger. This lady was bold. She broke the never-ever-ever-ask-a-lady-if-she’s-pregnant rule with confidence which means one thing:I am w a y beyond well maybe or beer gut or just eats a lot of cheeseburgers. I am full-fledged, strangers-are-sure-of-it, where-in-the-world-are-my-toes-they-probably-need-polish PREGNANT!
I thought I was getting along so well and adjusting to the weight and protruding tum-tum like a true champion. I can still button my real jeans and stretch most of my shirts over the bump but, I’m coming to the realization that it won’t last much longer. In the last week it seems difficult to put on shoes and heaven forbid they need to be tied. I have to wind my leg up, count to 3, and swing it with as much momentum as possible hoping it will land atop the opposite knee and I can reach my foot. By that time I’m sitting cross-legged-ish and out of breath. All of my shoes end up tied way on the side rather than in the middle. Bending over is nearly impossible so any pens, sticky notes, or paper clips that get dropped spend the entire day decorating the floor around and under my desk. Making leg shaving a necessity was definitely not a decision in which any preggers were consulted. I look down often to find my hands resting atop the shelf my belly is creating. I keep finding stains on my shirts and wonder how long they’ve been hiding or how many times it’s possible for a grown person to miss her mouth. My computer now requires a desk because I don’t have a lap with enough room for it. I am getting better at putting on mascara from a distance because leaning over the bathroom counter to get a closer look in the mirror just isn’t an option. Jason drives a truck and I drive a mid-sized, turn of the century SUV – both disgusting options for the pregnant lady. I can only lift my knee so high before it collides with the underside of the tum-tum then gets swung into the floorboard. Leg #2 is then on its own for the final hoisting to the seat. If the Oh Shooties! handle ever gives, it’s going to be a real gong show. The worst of it is…. We still have another 12-13 weeks of major growing to go.
Hello ginormous. Goodbye toes.
Other Updates: Jangie is approximately 14 inches long and weighs about 2 pounds. Her eyes will open and she can even blink her brand new eyelashes. She’s been really active over the last couple of weeks and my belly dances from side to side like crazy. Jason finished painting and hanging new trim and crown molding in her room – he’s doing such a great job with his projects. I finally caved and ordered some maternity clothes this week to get through fall. And the biggest almost-breakthrough is that we are about 98% sure on what we will officially name the little sprout. We’ll keep you posted.
This post made me laugh out loud.
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